Preview: "You hold yourself like this; you hold yourself like that; by hook and crook you try and look both angular and flat"

"You hold yourself like this; you hold yourself like that" -- from the Bournemouth G-and-S Society's 2011 production of Patience

Enter LIEUTENANT THE DUKE OF DUNSTABLE, COLONEL CALVERLEY, and MAJOR MURGATROYD, right. They have abandoned their uniforms, and are dressed and made up in imitation of Aesthetics. They have long hair, and other signs of attachment to the brotherhood. They walk to center. As they sing they walk in stiff, constrained, and angular attitudes -- a grotesque exaggeration of the attitudes adopted by BUNTHORNE and the young LADIES in Act I.

TRIO -- the DUKE, MAJOR, and COLONEL:
It's clear that mediaeval art alone retains its zest;
to charm and please
its devotees
we've done our little best.
We're not quite sure if all we do has the Early English ring,
but, as far as we can judge, it's something like this sort of thing:
You hold yourself like this [attitude];
you hold yourself like that [attitude];
by hook and crook
you try to look
both angular and flat [attitude].
We venture to expect
that what we recollect,
though but a part
of true High Art,
will have its due effect.

If this is not exactly right, we hope you won't upbraid;
you can't get high Aesthetic tastes, like trousers, ready-made.
True views on Mediaevalism Time alone will bring,
but, as far as we can judge, it's something like this sort of thing:
You hold yourself like this [attitude];
you hold yourself like that [attitude];
by hook and crook
you try to look
both angular and flat [attitude].
To cultivate the trim
rigidity of limb,
you ought to get
a marionette,
and form your style on him [attitude].
[Attitudes change in time to the music.]

Derek Oldham (t), Lieut. the Duke of Dunstable: Martyn Green (b), Major Murgatroyd; Darrell Fancourt (bs), Colonel Calverley; D'Oyly Carte Opera Orchestra, Malcolm Sargent, cond. EMI, recorded Sept.-Nov. 1930

Alexander Young (t), Lieut. the Duke of Dunstable; John Shaw (b), Colonel Calverley; Trevor Anthony (bs), Major Murgatroyd; Pro Arte Orchestra, Sir Malcolm Sargent, cond. EMI, recorded Oct. 17-20, 1961

by Ken

Do we really need an excuse to conjure this immortal trio from Act II of Patience? In it we see our three Dragoon Guards officers -- Lieut. the Duke of Dunstable, Major Murgatroyd, and Colonel Calverley -- making unholy fools of themselves, naturally over a woman, or rather three women, the Ladies Angela, Saphir, and Ella. Like all the women in this rural village, they're enraptured with their new local high priest of Aestheticism, the poet Reginald Bunthorne, and for his ethereal sake have thrown over their previous sweethearts, the dragoon officers. Here the officers try to show that they can be just as Aesthetic, just as Medieval, as any damned poet, though with conspicuous lack of success.

Actually, we do have a reason to be detouring through the Aesthetic shrubbery of Patience. But I think we can talk about that in this week's Sunday Classics post.

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